Farewell, goodbye ... so long

Dear Blog,

It's been a while since I wrote something down. I've been meaning to but I just never took the time out to do it. It's so sad that the only reason I'm even typing here tonight is because I am overwhelmed with emotion. About 2-4 hours ago I found out that one of my good mates committed suicide. He jumped off the 6th floor of our residence. Wondering how I feel? Well it's true what they say about death; it is a cheat! It is a thief. It feels like someone just broke up with me and I'll never get to see them again because they are never coming back.

Some thoughts on my friend Boaz, even as I type now I keep seeing pictures of him in my mind. Maybe it's the shock. Though he never came to my flat religiously, I keep hoping that he will knock on the door to tell me that it wasnt him that jumped; that this is just a misunderstanding. I know we were not the best of friends, but we took time out to talk. He was a great young christian man, everytime we were together we would engage in debates about the bible. We had varying views but we shared one common love for Jesus. His christian character came across in the way he lived his life. He was a kind gentleman. Ever so considerate. You know now in th background I'm playing "it gets easier" by Kandi featuring Faith Hill, I keep expecting him to show up to tell me that this is all ... just a silly mistake. *sigh*
                  He always seemed like such a level-headed christian, he was calm and reasonable. And he was the guy that in my eyes everyone could confide in. I mean I knew I could count on him whenever I knew he was able to help. It just doesnt make sense to me- i mean, I am the radical one here. People wouldnt be surprised if I went ahead and jumped off a building but Boaz ... Boaz is seemingly matured and responsible. I dont think any of us saw this one coming.

The last time I spoke to him was 2 weeks ago, on a Monday evening (2nd of September 2013). I remember the details so clearly. It was the evening before the launch of one of his business ventures: the Liesbeeck Hotspot, a cafe set to be a solution in a residence deeply in need. So we debated my new haircut as he made copies of the posters for the launch event. He said I was going through a phase because I had a mowhawk all of a sudden. *Laughs*. I remember just how I laughed at him, making fun of his glasses. I told him that he never noticed that I've been cutting my hair like that for about 2 years now because there's something wrong with his glasses. Then we went on to debate the prices for some of the products that the cafe would offer, I knew the prices had been long decided, yet it never stopped me from poking fun at him and making outrageous demands about the products I wanted them to sell (especially the low GI seeded brown bread). He always smiled at me, and calmly said  he would think about it. Ofcourse he impressed me when he mentioned that they'd be selling my favourite fizzy drink: Jive, the disagreement though started when he mentioned that they only had 500ml bottles at R8 and I asked him why would I buy it if I can buy a 2litre bottle at R11 somewhere else instead.
This was the last conversation I had with him. I saw him that night running from floor to floor, door to door slipping the posters under every door.

One thing I know  about Boaz that I believe was so personal to him was that he loved his dad. As far as I know he lost him a couple of years ago. He was a pastor's kid. I always made fun of this as we engaged in faith-debates. You could tell from spending time with him that he was from a church family 'cause his room was filled with so many musical instruments. He always mentioned how he wanted to keep his dad's legacy alive and how he loved his sister who was his everything. *Laughes*         I just remembered what he said to me 2 weeks ago, I mentioned that I noticed that he moved to a new flat and he said that I never visit, he even mentioned that the last time I visited him was when I took his piece of chicken when I found him cooking. My argument was simply to ask how I could have known that he was cooking.
I think Boaz and I have some much in common, since I met him in 2011 I noticed just how he is there for everyone. I was just never sure if he had someone he could confide in. He always appeared strong. The pillar of other men. But who was his pillar? I share this in common with him. Not that people do not avail themselves to talk to us, just that sometimes we do not know how to tell people about our challenges when we are so used to being so strong for others. Last thing you want to do is worry your family especially when you are a thousand kilometres away from home in Cape Town. Am I saying I condone what he did? No. I am just acknowledging why he may have done it. Like me, perhaps that was his way of "dealing with it himself" because he had to be strong for so long.

When I first met him in first year (2011), we were in an Ecoz lecture in the Beattie building, we were discussing Christianity when he introduced himself: Boaz. I asked him what it meant, he told me. I totally forgot, however, what I always remembered was that it was a character from the bible. A week later he had forgotten that he had met me, so he always referred to me as "bud" every time I greeted him .*Laughs*, classic Boaz style with the fancy accent.   It is interesting that he did this now in our 3rd year when we are doing yet another Ecoz course at Beattie. When ever I saw him in the lecture venue this year I'd call out and he would always say: "Hey Thabang, howzit bud/mate?" in classic Boaz style.


Rest in peace my friend. Boaz Moore