His name is Ryan. My little-big King

What I am into:

I sum it up into these 3: character, vision & health.

As a whole, I lead a very quiet & simple life, so I like simplicity & quietness of life  in the people I go out with.

Character: I am very atrracted to kindness, man! I believe it's rooted in character. Someone who stands for something, lives beyond themselves, and is fuelled by a heart for people. The person believes they can change the world & they dare do it

Vision: I like certainty, security & comfort. So it's important to me that I meet someone who has vision. This means they should be able to articulate where they are now and where they want be, and more importantly to me, where I fit in into all of it.
Because my primary love languages are presence & words of affirmation, I am predominantly a communicator. I like to know know where I stand with someone, so often I struggle to "read" actions cause I can't distinguish whether they were done with romance or friendship in mind. I like the comfort of clarity. I therefore have preference for people that say what they want, mean what they say, and match words with actions.  I've found myself in situationships where I was both wondering & wandering, and I don't like it.

Vision also speaks to someone who has the smarts to challenge my views & mannerisms with the intent to grow me. I think relationships should create a space where I can critique bae (with love) and even offer him advice about his business without him feeling any less of a man. Unfortunately, culture is that bae should be invincible. Reality is that we are a team.

Health: Not quite abs & all, but there's nothing more attractive than someone who takes care of themself, smells good, understands that health is wealth. I have lumps and bumps but I'm putting in the effort to get toned and active, and I'd enjoy someone like that. It's the effort that's beautiful, and that goes for everything, you know, the effort even when you are busy, things like remebering that I have an exam or that I am flying out of town for a bit and sending me a text to wish me well, or a surprise text during the day requiring me to smile. Effort is everything.

Yeah, this is what I normally go for

The Love way

For me, there's something different & beautiful about initiating the conversation to gauge what your person wants & requires of you, it's like the FNB slogan: HOW CAN WE HELP YOU. That's the love thing, the love way.

The love experience is so much more special when you don't feel like you always have to hussle your way to get bae to do what you want, but bae creates a platform for you to whisper your needs in safety. This is so beautiful, and can be rewarding when both people ask, listen and do (within reason).

Relationships shouldn't be wholy about getting, but mostly about giving & teaming.  We ought to be whole by ourselves, and more powerful together.

When we both put in the effort, a loveship will not feel laborious, instead it will just work. Effort becomes natural. Giving eases in and words are matched with actions.

We spend so much time trying to get and get, and wanting the right fit for us. Yet there's something remarkably beautiful about being to others what we want for ourselves. In this way, we are able to attract to ourselves what we really want. Because in the end, we reap what we've sown.

Feels: One for the friend

Kindness,' kno who u are
Kindness, it's who u are
' kno I make changes to your dial name on a reg,
Yeah u put up
Often need'a remind myself that u are not mine
Still yeah u remain
So I found a name for ya

Kindness;
Thank u for the dinners
The morning chats
Thoughtful apologies
The book & the business card
Your eagerness for adventure
For showing

Your:
Brown eyes
Beard game (so sax)
Light skin
Patience so clear

Your name is kindness

4:19

Ours is a world where everyone wants to enjoy being special to someone, but rarely does anyone ever aspire to make someone else feel special to them.

I hope I am to my friends, the hope and beauty and love, they are to me. I hope they each, indiviually feel unique & special to me.

Shame & Love

Ever felt shame cover your spirit & heart?
Shame so thick, you could cut through it
Shame & pain
The pain of adding salt & lemon to an open wound
Yet you were in love?
It's not quite anxiety or fear
But shame
Shame of loving & the risk of not being loved back
The shame of loving just a bit more
Embarrassed by how much you care
And how much they come to mind
And how much you talk about them
Shame
So ashamed

This!

Last night my emotions were all over the place, and it took a drive through McDs for a McFlurry to make it all better. It was THIS kind gesture by a stranger, now friend, that brought me back up. He drove out of his way, gave ear. Out of his mouth flowed honest timely wisdom & love truths. " Nothing beats communication ",he said.

When you find love, whichever type,
When you do eventually find love
Cause he walks into our lives in varying ways.
Man, grab it by all of you, love it, nurture it and enjoy it. And never let it go. 'Cause it is this love, whichever type, that will go out of his way, get you ice cream, listen. And by just being there, give you.

Thabo, friend. I celebrate you. Thank you.

Reality check #9

Ready to be the best version of myself

Reality check #8

We chase shadows
Missing the real thing that's here in our present hour
Why is it that we miss the people that really care and chase after those who couldn't be bothered?
Is it human nature?
Complete foolishness I'll say

Reality check #7

Gotta stop waiting for other people to show me
I deserve it
I can give it
I'm worth it
I am love

Okay being me

There have been times when I wished and wanted to be someone else.
Be other people.
They seem to have it good.
But I'm okay being me.
This thing, life, you grab by the horns and make your own.
Here's to making myself proud!

My hope

You are everything and more
My confidante and best friend
My left and right
The one who completes my songs & sings them along as their own, too
My calm place and home of restful adventure
My partner in the dance of life
My co-host
The secret ingredient to the stew of my life
My lover and sometimes, only sometimes, reason for my frustration
The one who tickles me with word and deed
My fan
My team
A beautifully themed background song to my life
My Neo
You are everything and more.

I love you. I appreciate you. I celebrate you. Thank you for the  gift of friendship.

My hope is that I may be as much to you as you are to me

<3

On the grind

Been working some typa overtime this week. I really enjoy it.

Reality check #6

We become the things we habitually complain about

Snails & e-mails

If there's anything you should know about me; it's that I love letters and long, very long catch up emails. It's weird I know, but I derive so much pleasure from reading. I've always imagined myself having a friend (or lover - whatever tickles your fancy) from the far far away lands, and reading from them whilst listening to the beat of the rain and enjoying a pot of tea. So you can imagine my eager excitement when I received a pseudo-mail, okay- it wasn't in the exact conditions as my preferences above. It was a long Whatsapp text from my varsity 'lover', friend of note, Nambian - Nubian Queen: Monica. In my view, this message is the equivalent of a perfect mail worth framing. I resonated so much with her experiences.

Here it goes:

" Greetings my dear friend in distant lands. I hope you are well. I'm good. Trying to find  balance. Having recently started working and getting my share of "big money", I'm learning how to balance between spending and saving. Sometimes I tell myself that 4 all the 8-5 I need a reward n I do some reckless spending all in the name of "because I can". There r times when I decide to just save up for some big dream (aka renovate or rather rebuild my grandparents house). I'm learning when to voice my thoughts at work n when the things that go on in my head should remain just that, thoughts. Most people say I come of as rude I'm learning when to not mince my words n when to be a straight shooter😁. I'm learning patience, baby steps. I wanted big money big house big car in the now. Quickly learning that apart from the fact that things don't happen as fast as we want them to, I should stay in my lane n stick to what I can afford. Friend, dreams delayed are not dreams denied aka Leonardo 😂. Love, I'm learning is complicated. I'm always thinking of one thing, how do I know this is right? I try to not think about love, maybe that way I won't be struck by arrows. I'm furnishing my little place, it's taking long, snail pace but I'm sure it will look pretty when I'm done with it. I miss you. I hope you being ur bubbly self. N like me, you learning 🙂🙃🙂"

I'm back. Theme: celebrating life

We keep going around in circles until WE choose to learn and move forth. Life is a celebration.