Dont know anymore

Dear Boaz,

It has been a couple of weeks now, you've left me thinking still. Wondering ...
We had a nice memorial, everything just turned out well, yet it is in the silence and quietness of things that I think about you. I can safely say I sometimes understand why you did it, you know. I am kept wondering what the fall was like .. if only we could get answers after death. Yet I am kept wondering.
Enerst has been taking it badly, I think he is better now. Sister Eleanor's cakes helped. I've been spending some time with her family too. What a lovely bunch.

I know I havent blogged in a while. Well, I've been thinking... thinking a lot. Right now I am conflicted. Mostly wondering how you felt in your last moments. I keep seeing myself falling down the same stairs, I dont look at the staircase the same. The other day I stepped on water and it felt like blood. We miss you.
What conflicts me tonight? It goes way back, just happens to be on my mind tonight. Relationships! I feel used and abused, on top of it all  I feel bad for wanting to be treated well. Must go back to my upbringing ... let me not dwell on the past.

I honestly feel like I dont have friends. I wonder if that is how you felt most of the time. I do know a lot of people yes,  but .. it is not the same. Everything here with most people feels superficial. Is it too much to want some depth? That's all I have ever asked for. I am happy you knew the deeper things about me.

Have I let people define me? This is the one thing on my way. You know, feeling like you are fighting to be satiated with God's love but yet you just arent, and you dont even know why. It feels offensive when you know that you love God so much yet the way that people treat you and how they have previously treated you still has some bearing on who you are.

I feel numb, when it doesnt hurt anymore. I find it easy to walk out on "abusive" relationships ... but I am wondering, what is wrong with me? Why doesnt it hurt anymore? I'd be lying if I said "it is all because I am comforted by God". This is an uncomfortable kind of numbness. It started late May but deepened after the June-birthday drama. You know I havent been to church in almost 2 months, well- when I think about going I just dont see reason to. Am I wanting attention? Am I a drama queen? Well atleast that's what I have been told. I dont know what is going on, and yet I have to wake up to be everyone's strength.  I feel like my family wont understand me when I go back.

2013, what a year.

Gone but not forgotten ... love is as strong as death

Dear Boaz,

Love showers have flooded in from everywhere, thoughts about you to your family.

I address you as the living 'cause you'll forever live in our hearts. We miss you

Tribute 1

Boaz- a rich person
Rich with laughter
Rich with intelligence
Rich with love
Rich with character
Rich with humility
Rich with charm
Rich with laughter
A boy who we thought grew up too quickly,
But a boy with the character and spirit of Christ Jesus.
A boy any parent would desire to have as a son,
A boy any girl or boy would desire to have as a sibiling.
A boy who left an imprint in our lives.
Boaz Stephen Moore, you will never be forgotten.
Boaz Stephen Moore, you will always be loved.
Shalom to our boy, son and brother, Boaz Stephen Moore.

From: Brother Lunga, Sister Bridget and children

Tribute 2

Boaz, Where to start? There is so much to say about him and so few pages and time to do so… He was not only a small brother to us but a great friend. Whenever you were around him, you were always assured of a smile and an uplifted spirit. I remember his eyes would always twinkle with humour before he’d make a quick witted comment that would have you in stitches. His sweet gentle nature and spirit, made you want to be in his presence and share that inner calmness that he radiated. He always had a kind word to say about everyone and had a perpetual smile that had you smiling right back no matter how low you felt. He, at all times was gentleman and so much more matured than his age called for. This was apparent in the way he handled himself and approached life, his immaculate dressing, never would you find Boaz looking shabby, oh nO!

He was at all times so diplomatic in his ways, and we would affectionately tease him about it, yet he would always be so good-natured about getting poked fun at and was not shy to retaliate. O:) I have never in my life met someone with a bigger heart. I remember in Cape Town he would always be the one to bring the believer students in UCT together for sweet fellowship and a sweet music session. He was always so courteous to the rest of us who were not musicians, and he would humour us by playing the guitar and piano to accompany our growling and actually made us sound good! There was no chance for loneliness or feeling down whenever he was around. He was always one to sacrifice his time and energy to ensure everyone around him was happy and comfortable.

He would transport brethren who didn't have transport to church every Sunday morning and evening service as well as on Tuesday. Even with the demanding university schedule, he always put others needs before his own. Boaz was a gem and there will never be enough words to describe what a wonderful friend and brother that he was. Boaz, though gone to soon, we take comfort in knowing that you now rest in the bosom of our father.

We will miss you dreadfully, and even as our hearts break and sorrowful tears we shed, we take hope in knowing that we will soon meet again never to be parted. For Now, we say see you later...

From: Esther Njoki Migwi

Tribute 3

I remember one of our first encounters was when we went to the beach just when Boaz started at UCT. I always used to make fun of how he refused to remove his shoes and play in the sand and water like everyone else was doing – he was a true Joburg city boy. For those who think they are true gentleman, Boaz would definitely give you a run for that – he was a bespoke gentleman, always giving way to others before considering himself. He lived to love, and loved to give. No matter who approached him, he treated everyone with utmost respect and pure humility.

I remember how he loved going to church service on Tuesday evenings. I was in UCT for four years and rarely attended as I was always ‘studying’. He challenged me in many matters of faith, always putting the Lord first even when he had to do so alone.

As much as we were at UCT to study and get our degrees, Boaz took time to arrange fun activities for a few young people to do. He taught me to learn to love the beauties in life that we sometimes ignore when so busy pursuing materialistic things. He used to invite some of us for dinner at ‘Boaz’s’ he would say – afew people know that he was actually a good cook for a male. He really loved being with people of like mind and faith, sharing whatever he could with us and sharing the most funny stories with us.

He had a passion for music, especially the acoustic guitar! And the best thing about it was his humility with his great talent. The first time I heard him play I asked him why he didn’t want to go big with a music career – he told me that using his talent for the Lord was a big enough privilege.

Boaz always availed himself when I needed help, he would take time to listen and suggest solutions. He appeared stronger than many most times despite all the hardships he had gone through from losing the most important people in a child’s life – his parents. His maturity in many situations amazed me. He always seemed calm and his reassurance with his unique accent when he would tell me that “it will be well” always put a smile on my face.

Boaz, I will always cherish the memories of you that have all come back since your passing. I am left with very few answers to the question ‘why?’ because I know how many dreams and visions you had and how you wanted to continue your father’s legacy. I wish I could wake you up and ask you to live a little more. I still remember us jokingly laughing about how you would be my ‘unorthodox’ maid of honour. Now you are gone, and no one can replace you as a friend. You have left a void that will not easily be filled.  

My sincere prayer is that I see you on the other side, give you a big hug and spend a few thousand years laughing, singing and playing the guitar with you! You have given me one more reason to look forward to eternity.

From: Rebecca M’Marete

Tribute 4

My family and Boaz's family used to be close when we were younger (even before Boaz was born). He used to be very fond of my brother, Njabulo, when they were younger. In mid 2011 while studying at UCT I discovered that Boaz was also studying at UCT too doing his first year. We lived about 5mins away from each other so we would visit each other now and then and spend time playing music (as he loved music very much), socialising and sharing about The Word. I gave Boaz his first guitar lessons along with other young brothers from the Soweto assembly in 2007 if my memory serves me well. He has left us too soon. I will miss him very much and the great friendship we shared. My deepest condolences go to his Sisters Tsholo and Lerato and the rest of the family. May the Lord comfort and strengthen them at this time of bereavement! Shalom Bro Boaz.

From: Thando Mkhize

Tribute 5

Boaz was a jovial, lively, intelligent and generous guy. He was a fun loving person, always calm, but sometimes talkative. He had much more than we have, material wise, but was humble and never a show off.  He was very polite and courteous. I envied his English. I'm still traumatised and asking myself why. But God knows best. RIP my brother, your wonderful memories will live on. Your presence will be missed.

Anonymous

Tribute 6

Letter from your close friend Enerst and the gentleman of  Marquard residence (Your residence in 2012)

A wise man once said “The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good. “

Boaz Stephen Moore was a kind and caring person. He was always filled with joy and he had an uplifting spirit in him. Boaz was smart  and he wanted to progress with his studies so that one day he could  achieve his dream of becoming a CA. He was someone that we considered as a brother because he was always eager to give us a shoulder to lean on when we were having hard times. He was also a man of virtue and he lived a life where he always looked up to the Almighty God no matter what he was going through. We’ve never seen such a young person with so much fear and honor for God.

This news shocks us and we would like to believe this was all a dream.  We are left saddened and left empty by this calamity. Although we wish your goodbye came in a much peaceful way, we do accept that the Lord works in miraculous ways.

We would like to thank the Lord for giving us an opportunity to encounter you in our lives and we will forever treasure the memories that we made together.

Rest in peace and go well buddy, till we meet again.

Tribute 7

Letter from Ndzalama Hobyani who worked with you on the launch of your business venture at Liesbeeck Gardens (your home prior to your passing)

"My dear brother, super mate, awesome bud" that's what you use to call me. We just met this semester but we worked so closely in preparing the opening of the Liesbeeck cafe that .you owned with Nosi. I did not know that the jam session that we had on the 29th of August 2013 in your room was the last time that I would jam with a talented guitarist and pianist like you "buddy”, we recorded "malibongwe igama le Nkosi" in a jazzy way and our wardens were so impressed .

Neither did I know that the 2 minutes conversation that we had after our Taxation lecture on the 11th of September was the last time that I would talk to you in person.so the 12th came and when the whole incident happened I was so confused on what was going at res, I saw the CPS  securities  standing that side of your flat and I wanted to call you and ask what's going on, I did not call you because I thought you were sleeping buddy and I did not want to disturb but little did I know that you were having a deep sleep that will only come to an end when Jesus Christ come back. Rest in peace "my dear brother”. I will forever remember every moment we spent together.

Tribute 8

Letter from Sydney Mashini, your adopted son.

When you've learnt so much from someone to a point where you always asked for constant advise, it really is hard to utter any words when you hear such news about someone who has done beyond enough for you....His famous words were "Syd ma boi... Look at a specific goal u want to reach, one that would eat you up every day...that is the one thing that would lead you to success...mine is my father" I have learnt so much from you Boaz and I was deeply shuttered when i heard you were gone...now I won't have someone to tell me about how important his iPad is in my morning lectures...most of all the words from the bible that u always shared with me and Nozi on the front row...i know u r in a safe place now...and I will surely miss u buddy...thanks for bringing light in my life...i will always treasure what u taught me... 

Tribute 9

Letter from Thabang, the guy you had countless stimulating debates with.

Dear Boaz,

I never realised just how much your passing has affected me until I found myself frustrated by the fact that we havent even had a memorial service for you here but I am glad your family contacted me.

I can imagine what you would have said regarding the UCT red-tape; as frustrating as this may be, you would have been so calm.

There's so much that I wish I could say. Like, how could I have helped? Why didnt I see this coming ..but I have no regrets about telling you just how your Sotho accent sucks *smiles*. Remember that time when you said "Thabang ke hohlile" hahahaha, in your accent. It was so-o bad! Everytime I saw you I would keep asking gore o "hohlile na" but in your accent. Trust me to do that to you!

To think you were here, alive, last week this time. You know what I've been doing ever since I found out? Been spending my time wondering where you are now and what you are doing, and praying for your family.

I know just how important your family was to you, you wanted to continue you dad’s legacy, it was your Whatsapp status for DAYS. And your sister, you raved about her! She was your everything! I remember how you told me she did everything for you, you loved her. Unto death you loved her.

You know what I learnt from you? I noticed you had friends from all walks of life, you never played the ”safe Christian”, I remember  thinking and asking myself why you even associated with people that go clubbing and the like, and you said you wanted to open yourself up to love all people and reach all people, just like Jesus who befriended harlots and drunkards.

 I am gonna miss the debates in the Jammie, as for our long standing debate on Romans 11:29 – I stand by what I said, and just by the way- my arguments were right! But for the sake of peace, I’ll agree to disagree.  My laptop has lost its doctor, remember when it crashed and you fixed it chop-chop? Lol, duuude I would have incurred thousands. But you were there.

It saddens me to have to accept that the world will never have a taste of your business talents, and your wealth of knowledge. What you knew was beyond the book. Go-getter!

I know Sydney misses you too. Guess what, you managed to know both of us briefly before you passed. LOL, I forgot to tell ya, you know last year when you used to come to our room to get class notes (before you you got to know Syd),he used to make fun of your accent too. Hahaha.

We miss you, maybe more so because we know we won’t see you again. Sometimes I get so mad at ya, you know- for just leaving like that. You chose to!  I have so many thoughts about you- been trying to do the maths, but school helps me forget.

Good bye my friend

.... disappeared

Dear Boaz,

I never realised just how much your passing has affected me until I found myself frustrated by the fact that we havent even had a memorial service for you here; but I am glad your family contacted me.
I can imagine what you would have said regarding the UCT red-tape; as frustrating as this may be, you would have been so calm.

There's so much that I wish I could say. Like, how could I have helped? Why didnt I see this coming ..but I have no regrets about telling you just how your Sotho accent sucks *smiles*. Remember that time when you said "Thabang ke hohlile" ( " Thabang I have returned ") hahahaha, in your accent. It was so-o bad! Everytime I saw you I would keep asking gore o "hohlile na" but in your accent. Trust me to do that to you!
To think you were here, alive last week this time. You know what I've been doing ever since I found out? Been spending my time wondering where you are now and what you are doing, and praying for your family.

I know Sydney misses you. Guess what, you managed to know both of us briefly before you passed. LOL, I forgot to tell ya, you know last year when you used to come to our room (before you got to know Syd),he used to make fun of your accent too. Hahaha.

We miss you, maybe more so because we know we wont see you again. Sometimes I get so mad at ya, you know- for just leaving like that. You chose to!  I have so many thoughts about you- been trying to do the maths, but school helps me forget.

:-)

Farewell, goodbye ... so long

Dear Blog,

It's been a while since I wrote something down. I've been meaning to but I just never took the time out to do it. It's so sad that the only reason I'm even typing here tonight is because I am overwhelmed with emotion. About 2-4 hours ago I found out that one of my good mates committed suicide. He jumped off the 6th floor of our residence. Wondering how I feel? Well it's true what they say about death; it is a cheat! It is a thief. It feels like someone just broke up with me and I'll never get to see them again because they are never coming back.

Some thoughts on my friend Boaz, even as I type now I keep seeing pictures of him in my mind. Maybe it's the shock. Though he never came to my flat religiously, I keep hoping that he will knock on the door to tell me that it wasnt him that jumped; that this is just a misunderstanding. I know we were not the best of friends, but we took time out to talk. He was a great young christian man, everytime we were together we would engage in debates about the bible. We had varying views but we shared one common love for Jesus. His christian character came across in the way he lived his life. He was a kind gentleman. Ever so considerate. You know now in th background I'm playing "it gets easier" by Kandi featuring Faith Hill, I keep expecting him to show up to tell me that this is all ... just a silly mistake. *sigh*
                  He always seemed like such a level-headed christian, he was calm and reasonable. And he was the guy that in my eyes everyone could confide in. I mean I knew I could count on him whenever I knew he was able to help. It just doesnt make sense to me- i mean, I am the radical one here. People wouldnt be surprised if I went ahead and jumped off a building but Boaz ... Boaz is seemingly matured and responsible. I dont think any of us saw this one coming.

The last time I spoke to him was 2 weeks ago, on a Monday evening (2nd of September 2013). I remember the details so clearly. It was the evening before the launch of one of his business ventures: the Liesbeeck Hotspot, a cafe set to be a solution in a residence deeply in need. So we debated my new haircut as he made copies of the posters for the launch event. He said I was going through a phase because I had a mowhawk all of a sudden. *Laughs*. I remember just how I laughed at him, making fun of his glasses. I told him that he never noticed that I've been cutting my hair like that for about 2 years now because there's something wrong with his glasses. Then we went on to debate the prices for some of the products that the cafe would offer, I knew the prices had been long decided, yet it never stopped me from poking fun at him and making outrageous demands about the products I wanted them to sell (especially the low GI seeded brown bread). He always smiled at me, and calmly said  he would think about it. Ofcourse he impressed me when he mentioned that they'd be selling my favourite fizzy drink: Jive, the disagreement though started when he mentioned that they only had 500ml bottles at R8 and I asked him why would I buy it if I can buy a 2litre bottle at R11 somewhere else instead.
This was the last conversation I had with him. I saw him that night running from floor to floor, door to door slipping the posters under every door.

One thing I know  about Boaz that I believe was so personal to him was that he loved his dad. As far as I know he lost him a couple of years ago. He was a pastor's kid. I always made fun of this as we engaged in faith-debates. You could tell from spending time with him that he was from a church family 'cause his room was filled with so many musical instruments. He always mentioned how he wanted to keep his dad's legacy alive and how he loved his sister who was his everything. *Laughes*         I just remembered what he said to me 2 weeks ago, I mentioned that I noticed that he moved to a new flat and he said that I never visit, he even mentioned that the last time I visited him was when I took his piece of chicken when I found him cooking. My argument was simply to ask how I could have known that he was cooking.
I think Boaz and I have some much in common, since I met him in 2011 I noticed just how he is there for everyone. I was just never sure if he had someone he could confide in. He always appeared strong. The pillar of other men. But who was his pillar? I share this in common with him. Not that people do not avail themselves to talk to us, just that sometimes we do not know how to tell people about our challenges when we are so used to being so strong for others. Last thing you want to do is worry your family especially when you are a thousand kilometres away from home in Cape Town. Am I saying I condone what he did? No. I am just acknowledging why he may have done it. Like me, perhaps that was his way of "dealing with it himself" because he had to be strong for so long.

When I first met him in first year (2011), we were in an Ecoz lecture in the Beattie building, we were discussing Christianity when he introduced himself: Boaz. I asked him what it meant, he told me. I totally forgot, however, what I always remembered was that it was a character from the bible. A week later he had forgotten that he had met me, so he always referred to me as "bud" every time I greeted him .*Laughs*, classic Boaz style with the fancy accent.   It is interesting that he did this now in our 3rd year when we are doing yet another Ecoz course at Beattie. When ever I saw him in the lecture venue this year I'd call out and he would always say: "Hey Thabang, howzit bud/mate?" in classic Boaz style.


Rest in peace my friend. Boaz Moore

 

A thought on mistakes

Greetings from the month of August,          

Hope you are being strengthened in Love.

Today, I had the honor of lying in bed and reflecting. Now I don't get to do this every day and on some occasions I start and end up not knowing where I started from. Perhaps what was different this time was that I had a definite purpose for the reflection. I wanted to know how I had (have) ended up as I have: a "loving" christian who has closed himself up to some things and some people.
I am sure your alarm bells are already going off, you probably feel that guilt and conscience were attacking me. Perhaps that may have been the case, nonetheless, I am grateful I had this quiet time.

I began my reflection by identifying those events in my life when and where I was certain I was at the right place at the right time meeting the right people. I could identify 5 occasions. Wow- I was blown away! Then I began to wander off the "well had this not happened and had that not happened perhaps this relationship would have been better" way and the typical "sometimes I wish I had never met you yet I am certain I was meant to meet you", followed by the routine: "oh why did I meet you, some times it feels like I messed your life up"; obviously this one had to come up "who's life also have I messed up? Had they not met me maybe they would be doing better". Then the one that apparently seals the deal "shoot me!Shoot me!".

Before spiraling further into a desolate state I decided to return to the main question I had asked myself: how did I get here? How did I get so hurt? How did I end up believing that closing my heart in and shutting off my feelings was a long-term solution?
By the way I didn't just get my heart broken, so to answer your question: No I do not have a box of tissues or a tub of ice-cream next to me( although I would like to, the ice-cream part that is LOL)

Often we are told that mistakes are "okay" and that they are part of growth. I am not refuting that. I just realized, however, that sometimes the best growth plan includes listening. Just listening! I was surprised to just think about all the mistakes I would have avoided had I listened to the Holy Spirit and not reacted emotionally and out of excitement. When it dawned on me that when we are continually aware of what He is saying we can never set a foot wrong.

Yeah, mistakes lead to growth but at what cost? Mistakes have a cost nonetheless! A broken heart, a lost soul which could have been saved ... and so much more. Maybe this is the right time for me to openly refute growth through mistakes. I believe from today that growth routes from the Word of God, as we relate to Him and we pay attention to Him and walk with Him. There's no way we can walk in distraction or destruction. Jesus said: He shall remind you of all my teachings. Paul said " I commend you to the Word of God Who is able to build you up ..."

Just a final thought: It turns out that when Jesus spoke of the Holy Spirit He kept referring to Him as being One of the same kind as Him (Jesus). So the Holy Spirit is to us what Jesus was to the disciples. Hallelujah!

** Pictures courtesy of Luke Akal

Christianity versus religion

“According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust” (2 Peter 1:3-4).

God has positioned you for victories. However, in order to live the transcendent and glory-life He has called you to and positioned you for, your outlook on life must be from the perspective of His Word. You must live in the light of His Word and cease to observe situations like an ordinary man.

God has already done all that’s necessary for you to experience victories here in the earth. But sadly, many Christians still make the mistake of waiting for Him to do something about their situation. Some even say they’re waiting for Him to take them to the Promised Land – that good and prosperous place, flowing with milk and honey. What such folks haven’t realized is that in the mind of God they’re already in the Promised Land! They got there the moment they were born again. In other words, they are already positioned in the best place they could ever be, having already come on to Mount Zion (Hebrews 12:22). They’ve been positioned in the place of victories.

Observe again these inspiring words from our opening scripture: According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue. This is not a promise, but a statement of fact; a present-hour reality. You received the life and nature of God the moment you were born again and immediately, you were positioned for the glorious life of victory. Everything you require to live that victorious life to the full has already been granted you.

So when God looks at you He doesn’t see a weakling who’s struggling to make it through life. Rather, He sees one who is more than a conqueror; who’s been endued with the dynamic ability to effect changes in the circumstances of life. Sickness, poverty, defeat and failure are unnatural to the child of God. Ordinary men may be susceptible to all these influences, but you have been positioned for the glory-life; a life of victory through the Word.

Finally, when you get up everyday, thank the Lord for positioning you for this life of victories, and also for granting you everything you require to excel and live victoriously in the earth to the glory of His Name. As you live according to the revelation of His Word today, you’re lifted above this world and the decadence therein, into the realm of glory and victory that He planned for you from the foundation of the world. This is how to consistently experience the victories of Christ in your life. Glory to God!

 (Thought for the day obtained from Yookos and picture taken by Luke Akal)

oh what He's done for me, I am gonna tell everyone of what He has done for me.

oh the Lord has been so good. Actually dear blog, I do not like using such expressions. I prefer saying: the Lord IS good.

It has been an amazing couple of weeks. I know I have been quiet for  a while,in fact my last entry was on the night of my birthday. I wish I had put down more on that night but the excitement and the festivities of the day had worn me out and I resolved to rest instead. It was a beautiful time. I am so grateful.

What have I been up to?
Where to even begin ...

Well as you know the weekend of my birthday was actually the beginning of the varsity vacation. I spent the winter break in Cape Town doing a month long course in Company Law (actually the results just came out yesterday, and they were so distinct).  I love the winter here, my philosophy is simply: be as close to the London weather as possible.The wind, the rain and the dark clouds turn me into a "toasted coconut marshmallow" anytime. Cape Town definetely gets the tick. Perhaps it's the romance associated with the weather *smiles*, or the idea (fed to us by American movies) of cuddling up to a blanket on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate ( or rooibos in my case). Whatever the motivation, cuddle I did. I would say I spent most of my break watching series and movies. Ofcourse I was able to fit in some study time as well as that awesome road trip with Lukey. Good times I tell you!

Looking back on the break that has now gone by so fast I can easily say: I had a great time. I have some great lessons in-scripted somewhere on my mind. Important of which is the lesson of respecting time. Time is indeed a commodity, the time we have to spend with  people should be spent in love because we may not get the opportunity again.The bible speaks of "...redeeming the time..."  (Ephesians 5:16). Using time effectively is so vital particularly in these last days, people need to hear about these good news of what Jesus has done. These good news have to be taken to the ends of the earth.

Despite having enjoyed spending time watching series and movies, these thoughts about using time effectively began to help me reconsider how I use mine time, and the things I choose to invest it in. I began to reflect on the form of information I expose myself to (and its source), and how it affects me. During mid-week service Pastor made a profound statement, she said: "the only adjustment we need to make for success is to change the source of our information" . We spend our life time feeding on information.

With this knowledge in mind I was inspired to do an 8-week course with my church known as Foundation School , which seeks to teach the foundational truths on the New Life we received when we were born again. This has been my 3rd week in the programme and I can say just reading through the manual and making use of the prescribed material has been so life changing. I would equate it to being catapulted to another level in the spirit realm, making strides in the spiritual realm.

I have learnt so much about what I have received from the God through Christ. Jesus didnt just die! He was raised from the dead. And I have a new life in Him, I was not reformed. I am a new man, I have anew life. The old man (me) died with Christ and I was raised to a new life. I am alive to God! Hallelujah!

Oh what he has done for me ...  I am gonna tell everyone of what He has  done for me.

Every good gift

Today I turned 21, and might I say it has been the best birthday I have ever had.
How does it feel?
Unfortunately for you I  have not taken time to nurture that innate "age-feeling meter" that I suppose Oprah and every American woman in their mid-60s appear to possess. So I will not even attempt to use many words to express the feeling. They fail. It feels good.

I am really grateful. I remember writing to one of my friends yesterday saying: " I do not know how God can top this but I know He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ever ask or think".

I am grateful for the gift of friendship and the gift of time. I am grateful for the gift of the journey of life. I was so overwhelmed with joy this morning when I received a text from one of the ladies I went to high school with because year after year despite time and space  she has never forgotten my birthday. Truly I am grateful.

A stranger's kiss



kansaitravels.blogspot.com

I had my back against the wall tonight; my legs snuggled up to the warmth of the blanket on this chilly Cape Town winter evening. It was around 00h15 when I heard the sounds of the heavy rain drops. An Accounting textbook in hand and Benjamin Dube on the playlist, I jumped off the bed in excitement and ran off to the balcony. From my flat on the 5^th floor of Liesbeeck Gardens I began to appreciate the beauty of winter’s rain. A fitting end, I figured, to a pleasant hour of trying to recall your face. We were just young then, atleast I know your grandma’s name and her house number. But I do not know your name my love. I am sure she has many grandchildren. The only memory I have of you is the kiss we shared, and your mother’s car. I never saw her. No face to match the vehicle. Looking back it seems like it was a Corolla, with fancy plastic door handles. Seemed so fancy then when all I knew were metal handles. I remember how you handled me. You kissed me.  I would like to think you were my first. How do I even begin searching for you? Will you come back my love? When was it? Which year was it? I am not sure either. Before the millennium I would believe.  A blurry sight, except our passionate kiss.                                                                                                          

Please tell me, do you ever think about me? Does it ever come back to you? All I remember is that kiss and you being gone. Will you ever come back to me? Will I ever know what has become of your life?

You had me at ‘Hello’, our passion. Feels like my love has been fenced out from you my beautiful stranger.

 I wish you well! I wish you love and laughter.

Fresh emotions to Emily Mmope

It is not an everyday thing to find out that your best friend's mom and your own mother were best friends in primary school. First thing you ask is: how did it happen? Coincidence or destiny? It is quiet a difficult question to answer. But what can I say about my best friend Emily Mmope? Except that she gave me the best years of my high school life (2007 - 2009).

From the moment I met her (though I cant recall how we met, she was just in my class) ,her quicky voice and continous enthusiastic laughter would always make me smile. She soon became the "love of my high school life", the one i'd have ikota (sphatlho) with. *smiles and laughs* I recall the queue during break time at Johnny's tuckshop, or when we had decided that we want to be "all" healthy and we would opt for "rude" Khura's fruits, or times when I was anxious about people staring and I would ask her to get me chips and Take 5 from MmaSolly. I bet you she didnt know why I preferred staying in doors during class. But my best friend would just save me without even knowing it.

I remember her school bag and how it looked everytime she would run for the bus, I'm surprised she never wanted to be an athlete. Emily could run! *LOL* She would catch the bus even when it had started on its way home.
Her humble background inspired me, I started saving money and using the bus along with her. But you can imagine how long that lasted. Not to say that I was from a better background but just that I had the privilege of using a taxi instead (though it strained my mother financially who at the time was unemployed and only received a food allowance of R300 per week from my step father and had to apportion it between food, my transport and school allowance. I dont know how momma did it, but she did it).
 I rejoiced the day that we started grade 12 because it meant my best friend would stop using the bus to make provision for our early/late class revision sessions. 

We grew up together, from grade 10 to grade 12. I remember we used to sit in groups in class and she was in my group. The rules soon became "speak English throughout the day unless you are having a Tswana class". It was easier to speak English during Tswana classes and Tswana during English medium classes. But we stuck it through and soon we began to reap and see the fruits of our labor.

I remember the first day she discovered Mxit *trying to keep a serious face*  (mxit was still hot in 2008) and she started chating up a couple of contacts ( an understatement) I had given her (I had found them on my mom's friend's phone but she got the phone from her boyfriend whom I assume got it from his white boss or the boss' daugher, maybe stole it?) . Soon I was to find out that she had fallen in love with one Gerhard and I had to continuously help her take stunning pictures (with her yaki-weave) for his pleasure. Ineveitably Gerhard didnt stick around for long and I had to deal with all the drama. Oh and the drama I was subjected to in 2009 when she wanted to be a rap artist ( I blame Lil Wayne). Emily made the 15th of every month famous, she would not use the bus on that day but take a taxi instead and her lunch would be a few mouth-watering chicken licken items. I remember when she would loan money from people in our circle and would mention that payment is delayed until the 15th. A legend indeed!!!

You are probably wondering why I'm writing and recalling these events about one of my best friends.

 Well in 2010 after we graduated from matric I spent a year studying at Tshwane University of Technology (in Pretoria) and Emily went to a college. We still kept in contact a bit. Then  in 2011 I moved to Cape Town to study at UCT whilst Emily decided to start working, I am not sure how Emily felt when I left for Cape Town as we didnt keep in contact so much. I remember though that she used to call me randomly from her office and we would catch up, and I would see her atleast once everytime I went home for the varsity vacation. A week ago on the 13th of May 2013, Emily informed me that she was moving from Pretoria to Rustenburg as her firm in Pretoria was closing down and she was being relocated. This shocked me. Firstly I thought to myself: she's been working in town and I got to see her most the time when I was home. Last December I would always pop into her offices everytime I was in the CBD as I was staying at my aunties in town. So this sudden change saddened me a bit. I felt like I was losing my best friend, I mean I know we dont keep in contact as muchwe used to but she still gives the best laughs whenever we are together. Secondly I thought to myself: and now who will buy me pie or chicken licken the next time I am in town?

I was more saddened by the fact that she kept asking and "pestering"  for us to go ice-skating and every year I'd delay and now here she is just about to leave.

Truthfuly I am happy that she is going away to a new place to gain bigger dreams and to make a life of her own. But at the same time I cant help but feel like I am losing a daughter, a friend, a lover. I wonder if she had similar feelings when I left for Cape Town? I am sure she did! As happy as she was for me I am sure she also felt that her friend  was going away. A sense of loss.

I guess we are more comfortable knowing that something that we love is still in the place we left it and soon we grow complacent and unappreciative that we fail to see its importance until it goes away or dies. But friendship is a relationship and thus deserves nurturing, love and attention.

I have been chating to Emily today on Whatsapp and just laughing with her, and expressing my love for her. Its craze but I miss her already. I have told her about my feelings regarding this change but I have also pointed out my affirmations, and they are this: That God may keep her and sustain her in her calling.

To Emily Mmamule Mmope ( wa Mr Muscles LOL)

I love you craze my friend.

Review: Joyous Celebration 17

From the first time I listened to a Joyous Celebration album in 2006 ( the Joyous 10th anniversary album) when my step-dad mistakenly bought a pirated copy thinking it was an action movie I knew I was hooked. At the time of course I was not even born-again and little did I know that this very "mistake" would be of significant influence in my Christian walk.

Now, 17 years later (7 since I first listened) , the multi-award winning Joyous Celebration is still going strong having recently released their 17th album: Grateful live at Rhema Church. Who can deny the impact that JC has had on many lives by  bringing a people of many cultures and languages together through one common language, the language of love: music.

Joyous Celebration has also been at the forefront of raising great gospel artists in South Africa , the likes of: Keke, Ntokozo Mbambo, Dominion and many more.

And now for the review...

Joyous Celebration 17 is a very "musically" strong album with a traditional South African feel to it. The choir look exquisite in the African-inspired attire in disk 1 and their more formal-wear on disk 2. Not only do they have a different (new) sound on this album but I also noticed some new (unfamiliar faces). The album fuses a variety of South-African inspired genres within Gospel, from your "tent church" sound to the more "traditional church" sound, even a bit of mskandi and some upbeat songs. This album showcases the vocal versatility of the choir.

If like me you've been a great JC fan and have over the years grown fond of some leads well you'll be thoroughly disappointed to hear that  the likes of Tebello Sukwini and Zodwa Mahlangu have left the choir. Also Nqubeko Mbatha has moved on from his role as musical director. As skeptical as I was about this album, I was very impressed. The old saying is true: change is good and the anointing of the Lord remains.

What I really love about this album is that finally I had the opportunity to hear the voices of those choir members who had not often led.

 NthabySang (you might know her from JC 16 as the lady who lead "Mopholosi Morwa Modimo") leads a beautiful song called the "Prayer". It is such a new sound for JC! The song is themed around the life changing prayer of salvation.

Also new on this album is Given Mabena (a famous dancer and opera singer with the group: Afro Tenors) who does a moving classical rendition of " Intando emnandi" with violin in background. By far one of my favourite songs on the album!

Though many songs like "umbhedesho", "uyangihola" and "lona ba ratang" may be widely know amongst South Africans, the rendition on  this album makes them sound so fresh. You'd even think you have never heard them before.

I was also impressed to discover a new talent on the album, the beautiful Hlengiwe Ntombela oozes energy and talent. Her song "Mthunzi wami" will remind you of the opening tracks from the JC 16 album. So beautiful!

And for all the Tsonga-song fans you'll love "Xikwembu xayina".

Disk 1 has 19 great songs.

Disk 2 features household names like the 2012 Idols-South Africa winner: Khaya Mthethwa and music power-house: Nobathembu Mabeka.

I was a so happy to see Buhle Thela leading a Tswana song (and dancing). On this album she leads"ke ngwana hao" and communicates each word so well.

Dudu Tsobane was  my highlight on disk 2 as she led "Mthembe njalo", a song about the dependency of the Word of God.  Simply beautiful!

Surely the Lord is good and is doing great things through Joyous Celebration. I hope this review inspires you to go get yourself a copy. The DVD was only R 139.99 at Musica.

*Most of their songs are evangelical.

Sizable Reflections

Dear blog,

Over the past couple of weeks I began to notice a trend of events every time I walked under a tree;beautiful yellow-brownish leaves would  start to fall over my head and as much as I loved it I realised it was more than winter setting in. It was a sign of awareness to me.

 

So I'm glad I'm putting pen to paper ( or in this instance pinkies to buttons :-) ) and writing (typing) this (my heart) out.

I just realised how for the past 3 or so years I have denied myself time to reflect and dream. I used to spend so much of my time (throughout my high school career) dreaming and mediating on those dreams. I remember days when I would get blushingly excited at the thought of spending time with myself and literally lying down on my bed dreaming about where I wanted to be, every detail of my (future) life (a life of purpose). Cutting up pictures and writing on the wall what would become my "vision board". And I witnessed as bit by bit every part became a reality. It gave me a sense a consciousness.  I'd say I felt much more oriented. Looking forward to something. I dare say that it appears that the more I dreamed the more I was able to walk in (well most of) my dreams.

I remember once giving a speech on how "the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their own dreams". And here I am. I guess sometimes the teacher is the biggest (and best) learner. The advises we gave (give) were (are) not for the hearers only but for ourselves too.

I'll admit that the future is a product of many influences but a dream is the seed (and secret ingredient) of every product. How else would we know to be bigger and better than we ever imagined unless we dreamed about it? Every dream has the innate ability to fulfil its telos (it's purpose for being).

So I'm glad to have the opportunity to lay in my bed in the presence of the Lord renewing my mind by meditating on the purposes of His call on my life and reflecting on His goodness. Every great started out dreaming.

Love: A new spice, a new aroma.

I remember the first time I met You

I fell in love.

It's true what they say:

 "He'll sweep you off your feet".

You won me over at the blink of an eye.

I don't know why, but I wanted You. 

You were more than just a want,

 I had a rush of excitement thinking about You.

I needed You!

 

Suddenly like the rushing of the wind You became the Captain of my thoughts.

 "The apple of my eye".

 My muse!

  My all!

 

 I took You to the ends of the earth,

 I spread You like the sands of the seas.

 You were my all!

 I lost sight of me.

 You became me.

 More so I became You.

 The fibre of my being.

The love of my life.

You made me love.

Love became me.

Like the stars of the night blue sky I healed broken hearts.

The Light of the world!

You set me up on high

Made me shine

The delight of all men.

The fruit of Your affection.

 

Then came trouble

Fast fell I.

Caught up in its face.

The higher calling far from mind

Yet You kept  loving and kept hoping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your love came rushing

Reminded me of Itself

Enlightened me of Its existence.

Quenched every sense of guilt

On high it lifted me

Never disqualified

Ever qualified by It.

This great Love.

 

A shield,

A place,

A residency.

All this and more

are You great Love.